


Commentary

by MrProphet



Category: Blood Bowl
Genre: Gen, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 13:31:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10698030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrProphet/pseuds/MrProphet





	Commentary

"Welcome back sports fans, you join us here at Altdorf's magnificent Karl-Franz Arena where the match between the Altdorf Hammers and the Gunbad Flayaz remains in time-out, and the crowd are not happy about that, are they Sylthain the Black?"

"You speak truly, mortal fool. The righteous hunger for blood is upon them and if not upon the field then they shall spill it in the stands and all to the glory of Khaine."

"You said it, Sylthain; this crowd is uglier than most, and I've seen a doozy or two in my fifteen years as a Blood Bowl player, coach and commentator."

"The span of your years is but the flicker of a mayfly's wings. I have looked upon the howling throngs of the Pit of Naggaroth in the days when your grandfather was but a thought and the game of Blood Bowl was played as it was truly meant to be played, with whole cities hurling themselves at one another in the frenzied rush to score, and yet I have seldom seen a more delightfully enraged cohort. They seem set upon making this back into a... spectator sport."

"I couldn't have put it better, Sylthain."

"That is beyond doubt."

"And now... yes, it looks like the officials have sent in the cheerleaders to distract the crowd, but... Oh, I don't believe it. They've put the Flayaz cheer squad on the field. That's not going to please the home crowd one little bit. Let's get an eye on the ground, now. To talk about the incident which kicked this off, here's Rhuthrran Oakborn."

"Thank. You. Franz. I. Speak. With. Max. Von. Carlstein. Vice. President. Of. The. Blood. Bowl. League.

"Hello. Max."

"Good evening, Rhuthrran. It is good to be here. I only wish it were under better circumstances."

"Can. You. Explain. The. Circumstances. Of. The. Unprecendented. Time. Out. For. The. Folks. At. Home. Please?"

"Well, Rhuthrran, as you know, early in the second quarter, Pragh the Cruel, blitzer for the Gunbad Flayaz, knocked down Kurt Liebowitz. All within the rules, of course, except that he then proceeded to eat Liebowitz's leg and part of his right arm, at which point the referee called foul."

"But. Surely. Ghoul. And. Vampire. Players. Have. Been..."

"I really must interrupt you there. To conflate the deeds of ghoul and vampire players is frankly disingenuous. You are correct of course that there are fine and honourable traditions of opponent ingestion, but the rules of the game are quite clear: No player shall eat all or part of any other person during the course of a match.

"Precedent on the matter is clear. Ghouls are not people under any meaning upheld by any native speaker of the Reiklander dialect in which the codes are written, therefore consuming a human is not technically eating another person; the opposite is of course true as well. The same applies to Ogres and Minotaurs, and while vampires have been considered people for many years now, we feed by drinking, not eating.

"Ironically, of course, none of this would have come up if not for the ruling in Gazhshagh v. Bogenhafen Municipal Council just a few months ago, in which the Council of Elector Counts decreed in their judicial capacity that, within the bounds of the Empire, an orc should be considered to hold the full status of personhood."

"So. This. Comes. Down. To. A. Matter. Of. Legal. Technicalities. And. Indeed. Even. Semantics. Max?"

"Indeed, and of principle. We've just heard that the Altdorf coach is prepared to drop the matter, but Pragh is insisting on his rights as a person to be penalised."

"Thank. You. Max.

"And. It. Looks. Like. A. Decision. Has. Been. Made. Franz."

"That's right, Rhuthrran. We've just been informed that the penalty has been upheld, so that's Pragh in the penalty box for the rest of this quarter and a penalty kick to Altdorf. They're clearing the last of the unconscious cheerleaders of the field amid a volley of rocks from the crowd, and now with Oris Leadfoot coming up to take the kick, it's back to the action."


End file.
